Do You Feel Like a Unicorn Who Doesn't "Fit In" in the US Evangelical Christian Community?

I want you to know that you aren’t alone.

Some Christians are conservative in their personal beliefs and are liberal in their political beliefs.

Some Christians are liberal in both their personal beliefs and their political beliefs.

Some Christians are moderates.

The body of Christ is big, and it is diverse. The problem is that the loudest voices often override the quieter ones. Especially in the US evangelical Christian church, there has recently been an almost cult-like rallying of people around “conservative” beliefs that aren’t even necessarily traditionally conservative things. Distrust of vaccines. Conspiracy theories abound.

The church is big. Everyone is not the same.

For Christian women like myself, there is a huge pressure to conform to the following image:

Stay at home mom who is married to a man, has perfect hair, skin, and nails, uses essential oils on everything, homeschools her kids, votes conservative on every issue, questions the value of higher education, especially non-Christian higher education, dresses “modestly,” whatever that means, whose husband owns guns and a truck, thinks illegal immigrants are a source of our nation’s problems and wants them legalistically kicked out, thinks abortion should be illegal in every situation, thinks gay marriage should be illegal, thinks people deserve what they get in life and that if someone is poor, it’s their own fault, thinks drug problems are a sin problem, and that if the whole world could just be properly preached to, every societal issue we have would resolve. She probably isn’t vaccinated for COVID19, and is against governmental and employer mandates for it.

People don’t fit into molds. Some people have one foot in one camp, one in the other.

I’m a Christian stay at home mom who has also worked outside the home, is married to a man, and doesn’t spend much time on hair, skin, and nails. I’m allergic to essential oils. I might homeschool my kids when they’re the right age. I vote liberal on almost every issue (though I have voted conservative), and am a firm believer in higher education, but am cautious around student loans. I dress somewhat modestly, though it’s not a huge deal to me. I’m anti-gun, secretly want a red truck, though I drive a sedan, and think immigrants of every legality are a strength to our country and that we need to make it easier to come to the US. I have complex views on abortion that I’ve written about some and will write more about, think gay marriage should be legal and support a clear separation between church and state, and think drug addiction is a medical problem. Though preaching to the whole world is great, I feel most societal issues do not have repentance from sin as the core need, and that preaching to people won’t guarantee any of their actions change. I’m definitely vaccinated for COVID19, and am in favor of mandates.

I often feel like I don’t fit in, and I actually partially fit in to much of the box. How much harder it must be for people who are not cisgender, aren’t married when everyone else is, are in a same-sex marriage, are an undocumented immigrant, or are part of any marginalized group or community!

Part of the problem with traditional church is that everyone shows up and primarily listens, then goes home. It would appear that everyone is in agreement about everything, but they aren’t. Preachers lead in more than just Bible teaching. They lead in culture, too. To the extent possible, people tend to only display aspects of themselves they feel are safe for others to see.

You be you. Be you loudly. None of us fit strictly into boxes.

The more we are fully ourselves, the more tolerance and acceptance of diversity there will be within the church. Sometimes people think the avoidance of conflict is the best way to keep the peace, and though there might be situations where neglecting to argue is best, overall, authenticity is the path to mutual respect and overall tolerance of differences within a group.

You’re actually surrounded by unicorns. Some are in hiding. But we are everywhere.