It’s been an interesting week.
Something is wrong with my knees, and I’m not sure what it is. I got injured on a treadmill nearly a decade ago, and I’ve had flare-ups, but this seems different. I wonder if it’s medicine-related, since I took something recently for which tendonitis can be a side effect.
In any case, I’ve been in bed the past 3 days because it hurts every time I walk or twist my leg.
I’ve never really been that active on Twitter, and have mainly thought of it as a place where Russian fake political accounts and bots and depressed angry white men hiding in basements (sorry, just sharing the image in my mind) would say things that they would be too scared to say in the light of day.
But in the past few days that I’ve been active on Twitter @coffeecatharine, I’ve discovered something marvelous and beautiful.
There are really nice people who are out there! In the world, right now.
I had been feeling very alone in the “resistance,” especially the “Christian resistance.” But we are all, in fact, in great company.
There are lots of people who care about the same things.
So it’s been just wonderful, to put it frankly.
Something about being surrounded by very politically conservative Christians- in the church bubble, family and friend bubble- made me feel very isolated. That, paired with the legalistic applications of doctrines about women submitting to men, and even church members submitting to elders… well, it’s made my world feel very small, and my voice feel smaller.
Of course, a pandemic hasn’t exactly helped with the feeling of being in a claustrophobic bubble, desperately trying to keep the flame of my lamp from being overshadowed by all the oppressive forces around me. This blog is my first real foray into speaking up louder than before, in a public way.
So if you haven’t discovered it yet, I highly recommend Twitter. Check out the list of people I’m following for ideas of people to follow!
I’m sure the bots and nutty-nuts are out there somewhere, and sooner or later, they’ll find me and be mean about stuff. I’m ready.
But I’m absolutely DELIGHTED by the community I’ve found!
❤️ .
Second realization: I feel more comfortable being a little snarky in the company of additional snarkiness. Life is boring without the occasional sprinkling of attitude. So that has also been fun.
I’m still finding my voice, just in general, as a person. The legalistic voice in the back of my mind is loud. I feel very afraid of “getting it wrong.” That if I point out hypocrisy in the church, that I’m somehow being “negative.”
I know that I just need to keep praying, keep learning, and keep writing. I’m being open about my double-mindedness, because I know that I’m not alone in feeling that way, either. And if you struggle to find your voice sometimes, especially if the reason is because you’ve been taught to be quiet, don’t give up.
Twitter is teaching me that the world is big. Tiny circles of judgmental people do not have to define me, or define you, either.
Sending you love.
I hope you’ll consider joining my email list to be notified of new posts.
This is a thought provoking topic. First, note that I do not have all the answers- or perhaps any.
How do we as Christians (this is an assumption, may not be correct for all), understand the church and its function as the Body of Christ, and the role of the Word of God, as opposed to appointing ourselves judge and jury over the humans who attempt to form/follow it? Because it is a given that we will fail.
So what gain is there in identifying hypocrisy-of which we are all guilty? It is there, it is real. It is also there and real in my life. At some level that must exist, I must be aware of it, in order for me to welcome salvation in Christ Jesus.
So I wonder where this falls in the Sermon on the Mount with respect to “removing the log from my own eye in order to better see the spec in my brother‘s”…? Obviously we need to bring a discerning eye to deciding what Body we might associate with. And we also need to play a role in helping the body best align itself with what we understand of the body of Christ. But there will be problems, it is guaranteed. So where do we go then? To our own counsel… our own understanding? To that of the Word? What can help us?
This is a wrestling match in which I am constantly engaged.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I’m not going to pretend that any answer one arrives at on this topic is easy, simple, or without great nuance.
I think that, based on the learning I’ve done, humility/ self-judgement should never be used as an excuse to not set boundaries that protect us. Those who are responsible for church leadership are the ones who are responsible for leading that church group, so if issues are brought to their attention, and are not addressed, it becomes a matter of personal judgment as to what one is willing to tolerate.
Calling out problems/sin /issues to be addressed does not imply a lack of humility with oneself. In fact, much of church culture perpetuates the avoidance of accountability for leadership by exercising this guilt-trip. So I’d say, approach God with humility, have a trusting heart when it comes to him, but trust with humans is earned (not required), and fully revokable at any point. No one deserves the right to perpetuate an environment that is abusive or harmful to another person, even in the name of fellowship.