The Conversation We Need To Be Having About Abortion

People tend to be in “life-or-death mode” about abortion. It’s either life-or-death needing to be ended, or life-or-death needing to be a protected right. We are in a gridlock over this issue in the United States.

I would like to see our country be able to move forward in some sort of bipartisan way that finds a path of peace, or at least relative peace, when it comes to abortion.

The problem, from my perspective, is that the actual conversation that needs to happen needs to be unearthed from beneath a mountain of surrounding issues.

Here are the issues I see surrounding abortion that, though each an important and relevant topic, obfuscate the core conversation that needs to take place.

It’s like an argument with a spouse. You’re supposed to argue about X, but as soon as you start to argue about X, the conversation goes off the tracks to Y, and pretty soon you’re arguing about Z.

The conversation we’re currently having

Let’s talk about the red side of the fence first. Here are some topics I see that merit their own, independent conversations. They are topics Y and Z (and S, R, Q, etc).

1. Religion

Religion is a huge talking point. Bible verses about God knowing us while in the womb and knowing the number of our days are brought up as proof that a fetus has a human life. People defend their beliefs about abortion as just that- beliefs- things that are a matter of faith and trusting in God’s teaching in the Bible. People often view others’ acceptance of abortion as evidence of a lack of faith or understanding of what the Bible teaches.

2. Judgment of abortion as “murder,” and the need to evangelize

There is often judgment of women who have abortions, and their doctors, as having unrepentant sin and unfilled spiritual needs. They are called “murderers.” A need to evangelize is emphasized as the “solution” to abortion, with the assumption that if people knew Jesus, then they wouldn’t participate in abortion.

3. Judgment of the assumed reason for most abortions: pre or extramarital sex

A huge amount of the judgment and “righteous anger” I see, primarily from Christians, has to do with the idea that if people just stopped having sex outside of marriage, that then there would be no need for abortions. So people who believe that sex outside of marriage is a sin are often layering that on as a second judgment for people having abortions- first, they may have had sex out of wedlock, and two, they’re murderers.

4. The separation of church and state, or lack therof

Christians who believe abortion is murder often have a hard time feeling comfortable with their tax dollars going to pay for it. If the belief that abortion is wrong is approached as a religious issue- as Christians often approach it- then the desire for the LACK of separation between church and state comes into play. Christians who believe that government, laws, and taxation should reflect their understanding of GOD’s morality will then have a problem with taxation-supported programs that aide what they view as murder.

5. Anger over the “business” of abortion

There is a lot of anger about what is done with the bodies of fetuses- the sale, use and laying to rest of bodies and body parts. This warrants a conversation, but is also not topic X.

6. Stories and conspiracy theories

I think it’s a valid case that the conversation about abortion also gets sidetracked by stories and conspiracy theories. I haven’t gone too in-depth, but there are rumors about politicians eating aborted babies. The stories are very far-fetched, and can understandably get emotions running high.

Alright. Let’s talk about the blue-tinged half of this conversation.

1. Efforts to limit abortion are religious overreach

This is related to one of the sub-topic threads from the above list: that Christians are trying to force their religion on everyone else, and are trying to make governmental policies reflect their religious views. The separation between church and state is not being respected.

2. Efforts to limit abortion are about men trying to control women’s bodies

Partly a reaction centuries of women being victims of misogyny, where even today in some parts of the world they are married off as children- the idea that men are STILL trying to control womens’ bodies is painful and hits close to home for many. It does touch on one question that is central: is a fetus a part of a woman’s body or not? Aside from that, though, the sexism and misogyny aspects are valid topics, but secondary to the core issue.

3. Efforts to limit abortion are white people trying to control people of color

Do I really need to explain the history of why people are upset about racism as it relates to abortion and a myriad of other issues? These are many conversations that absolutely need to happen.

4. Efforts to limit abortion are about rich people trying to control poorer people

Again, a 100% VALID topic.

5. People who call women and doctors “murderers” for doing something very painful and difficult belong in their own level of he%&.

There is an understandably angry reaction to the labeling of those who participate in abortion as “murderers,” along with the billboards that often go with them: dead fetuses lining giant boards on the highway as you try to go to work. Not exactly sensitive.

The conversation we need to be having

So, though so many of the above topics warrant significant discussion, what is the conversation we NEED to be having in order to attempt to move forward? What is topic X?

From where I sit, the core conversation topic is this:

Does abortion kill a person? Is a fetus a part of a mother’s body?

That’s the crux of it all.

Yes, all of the religion warrants discussion, the separation of church and state or lack thereof warrants discussion, sexism and racism and elitism and the balance of power all warrant discussion. How to CARE for the needs of women who find themselves seeking abortion, I think, SHOULD be the next point of discussion.

But the real questions to be resolved are whether a fetus IS a person being killed, and whether a fetus part of the mother’s body, or not. Does the fetus have a human life that is distinct from the mother or not?

It’s almost IMPOSSIBLE to even ask that question without all the loads of side-topics impeding it. I’m sure that even just reading the question will bring up your own perspectives and emotions, as a reader.

I think biology and science are the key to pursue the answers to those questions. For me personally, learning more about the physical, literal things that take place in the womb during fetal development hold part of the clues as to what is taking place.

Finding ways to support the lives and health of the people seeking abortions needs to be part of the conversation. I personally, would easily and quickly take the conversation off-topic, running with side issues like these: how can we improve access to healthcare for all people with uteruses? Can we revisit the need for parental consent for some forms of birth control? The list goes on and on.

But I think the core questions are something that have to be approached from a perspective of biology. What do we know about brain cell development? Movement in the womb? At what point is a fetus distinct from a mother on cellular level?

I can share my understanding of the answer to these questions, but that’s not the point of this post. We all need to trust science (a problem for many on the far right, who view science as opposing to God- but again, a side-topic). We need to look at science as something that can help us learn about our physical, cellular reality as humans.

We need to talk about science without religion getting mixed up in it.

We need to talk about it without getting mad about sexism and racism and all the other isms.

As we sit down with our “marital therapist” (symbolically as a country), we need to talk about that one, core issue. There may be boundaries that need to be established- who is in charge of what- and who is in charge of WHOM. Where religion begins and ends, etc. Where laws begin and end. What the purpose of law even is.

I hope that we’ll be able to eventually see past all the valid emotions and related topics- which each deserve their moment in the spotlight- to actually talk about the questions key to reaching any kind of agreement about abortion.

Does abortion kill a human? Whose body is it?

That’s the crux.

Once we see that part clearly, then we can discuss ethics, boundaries, and all the surrounding issues. And hopefully, amends can be made.