reflecting on various topics
I’ve been feeling a lot of pain, lately. Some of it’s physical, most of it’s emotional. Sometimes my humor runs thick, and sometimes I just glare at it, like, “No, you wanted to make a joke? Right now? How dare you.” Deflection and denial, my even self-gaslighting occasionally, to cope. I have grief ahead of …
(photo: backyard little flowers earlier this week) I see green leaf, white edge, pointy spikes, trying to catch the rain drops I hear thud thud drop I smell nothing. hence the cold my tongue wants real food my brain wants to fly I feel the keys under my fingers and this old chair and my …
I stayed up late tonight recording because I needed there to be something positive. This is How Can I Keep From Singing, arranged by Mark Patterson (link here to sheet music), Catharine’s Midnight and Starting To Get Sick Key/Version. My intonation isn’t always right, but c’est la vie. Also the ending is actually supposed to …
(my Canon is broken so I’m left with washed out Pinephone selfies) How are you coping with things? Sometimes there is no way to cope with things other than continuing to exist. I suppose that is what coping actually means. To find a way through, or past, to simply persist in life. Usually when I …
It’s been kind of rough lately. Yesterday I went to pick up the kids and there were latex balloons in the office. I was wearing a respirator and my car was closed, but I still reacted (I had parked right outside the open door). I went home, showered, and changed my clothes. Thankfully it was …
good morning. I dropped my Pinephone (my camera) inside the couch yesterday and it was stuck and the only way to get it out involved Alex LIFTING UP the couch and so he LIFTED UP the couch and the Atticus (our cat) of course DARTED UNDER the couch and so Alex was LIFTING UP the …
Image: my computer, Platformer I was reading about the new lack-of-rules for Meta about essentially allowing hate speech against people based on gender/sex, to align more with incoming Mr. T administration, and I hate what it means, symbolically- another sign of the “hate era” I’m sure he’d like the next few years to be. What …
Today was pretty good. The people affected by the fires are still on my mind. I read the news a bit. Really horrific things are happening. It’s hard to know sometimes how to process things like that while also taking care of kids, etc. (Here is a list of helping organizations). We played dominos and …
I’m thinking of everyone affected by the southern CA fires, right now. It’s a lot of people that I know. I used to live in that area, as did a lot of my ancestors. A family farm (started a few generations back) in that area burned down completely a few years ago, as did the …
This blog post is holding space. Holding space for bad things that are happening today in the political world. Holding space for the memories of bad things that happened a year ago, today, too. I don’t want to talk. What I want to do is scream, cry, break things. Simultaneously angry and dissociated. Holding space.
